So, today it’s one moth, one week and one day until the leaving date. I haven’t been thinking about that much because of other stuff like exams and friends etc. We will move out in less than a month. It’s weird to think that the same bedroom I’ve had for half my life will now belong to someone else. I’m leaving my big sunny south-facing windows, my brightly coloured curtains and my crazy stripy wallpaper for someone else. Who knows what it’ll be like in the new house? Maybe I’ll have a tiny box room, or worse… maybe i’ll have to share with my 9yr old brother. I’d rather have the box room.
This halfterm we’ve been clearing out cupboards (well, mum has). it’s surprising how much stuff we have just sitting there like board games, or puzzles, or books we read when we were 6. It’s sad to chuck it all away, or send it to carboot sale. It seems a part of us, like this house, like the stripy wallpaper in my bedroom, like the apple tree in our garden, like our extremely antisocial street.
Another thing I’ve noticed is peoples attitudes. Lots of people keep telling me how much they are going to miss me, or asking when the leaving date is, which makes me feel very loved. But apart from the occasional ‘Are you excited?’, no-one asks me how I really feel. Not like a ‘oo I’m so glad your leaving date was extended, aren’t you?’, I mean how am I really feeling. Most days I just want to break down into tears, because when you really think about it it’s extremely overwhelming. Imagine having to move 5631.5 miles away, to the other side of the world and leave behind your friends and family, and the only life you’ve ever known. It’s not exactly my idea of fun. People are complaining about me (not in a mean I-hate-you way, just in a your-starting-to-annoy-me-a-little-but-its-okay-cos-your-still-my-friend way) , I’m never free, I haven’t done what they wanted, I didn’t bring in something I borrowed off them. If you think from my perspective, going to the cinema is not the most important thing on my mind right now. Suddenly everything’s come down very hard hitting. It feels like a lot to think about and sort out in a very small amount of time. But who knows? Maybe something truly tragic will happen and we’ll have to stay put. That would be marvellous, but somehow I don’t think it’s going to happen.
banana256 
Can something truly tragic ever be marvellous?
Hun, I’m sorry I haven’t asked you about how you feel to be honest…. I’ve only been thinking about how you’ll feel when you get there 😦 If you don’t mind me asking…. who were you talking about in this bit ” I’m never free, I haven’t done what they wanted, I didn’t bring in something I borrowed off them.” x You don’t have too 🙂 xx I love you loads and I guess I haven’t asked you about it is because I too am trying to put it at the back of my mind – – – this might sound like a fooey (bullsh*t) but try to imagine me saying this without me looking like someone of an american sit-com 🙂 xx I love you soosoosoosoo much…. not in a lesbian way but in a way where we treat each other like sisters 😛 x I feel like you’re my whole entire life and I hope you feel the same way otherwise I sound like a needy-ass-loser :L xx I’ll see you tomorrow at school and if you want on Tuesday at mine we can talk about it 😉 xx (b.t.w are you eating at mine?) xxx ilyyy!!
Hey I wish something tragic could happen so you can stay I cant imagine life without you you al ways. Make me laugh and cheer me up when I’m down and I know we have a lot of disagreements and/or arguments but I love you and I wish i could trap you in my room cos if you close the door then you won’t be able to open it unless you knock it down which would not be good :L love you see you tomorrow ❤